Moonlight Mile
by LeleD2010
Summary: "She liked to think of Jade as the burst of electricity that short-circuted the robot that Beck could be, giving him life and allowing him to break free and be himself." Beck&Jade as always dears. Read&Review
1. Chapter 1

"_**Oh, I'm sleeping under strange strange skies, just another mad mad day on the road. My dreams is fading down the railway line. I'm just about a moonlight mile down the road." Moonlight Mile- The Rolling Stones **_

Beck&Jade Jade&Beck

It was meant to be a joyful day.

Beck Oliver stared at his girlfriend and couldn't help the smile that formed on his face or the soft sigh of contentment that escaped his lips to accompany his intense gaze.

After the last argument with his father; which consisted of raised voices, flaring nostrils, accusations and threats of abandonment over his relationship, his mother had wisely suggested that Jade deserved another chance before any drastic measures were taken.

Cheryl offered to organize a small get-together so they could all interact and get to know each other better. John Oliver had scoffed in indignation; flat out refusing to be pulled into a tirade of fake smiles and pretenses for the sake of a girl he detested. His brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed when his wife glared at him, she refused to back down until he agreed to the farce she had prompted. He eventually turned his gaze away from Cheryl's and groaned before sighing in defeat.

Fine; he would play along for a night, but he didn't plan on changing his mind for a second.

Beck watched as Jade made conversation with his mother. He saw how the invisible strings her enigma created, wrapped around Cheryl and pulled her in.

His ears picked up their subject, which surrounded Jade's passion for writing and literature. The tall, dark-haired woman smiled at his girlfriend, and her eyes shined with acknowledgement that she might have been wrong all along. Beck thought that maybe if he squinted a little, he'd be able to catch a slight hint of pride and approval in his mother's eyes over his choice now.

There was something about Jade; something indescribable that captivated people and drew them to her like moths to a flame, making them wish to be around her always. It wasn't something you could easily identify or name.

It wasn't just how piercing her eyes were, how strong and beautiful her voice sounded, or how much attention her presence demanded. It didn't matter how many rude comments she made, or how sarcastic her tone got; people loved Jade; she could win anybody over before they even realized it.

He couldn't stop the smug grin that formed on his face over it. He always knew that if they gave her a chance, his parents (or rather his mother) would be able to see why he loved this difficult and infuriating girl as much as he did.

His aunt's voice captured his full attention when he heard her gush about how beautiful Jade would look in a pink dress because it would "compliment her creamy pale skin tone", and how much prettier she would look if she "added a little more color to her cheeks". He shook his head at his aunt's antics, before focusing his attention on the girl in question's reaction.

Jade dressed in pink. Sure, like _that_ would ever happen.

Beck smirked at the slight flush that colored Jade's cheeks when she caught him staring at her. It was quickly replaced with an arched eyebrow and a small smile, before she returned her attention back to Cheryl and his aunt. He was actually quite proud that she had restrained herself from making sarcastic or rude comments to Aunt Jen over her persistent insistence.

When his own attention was demanded by his father and uncle, he gladly continued watching the end of the game with them, confident that his future would finally be more peaceful now that the two most important people in his life seemed to be getting along.

After having spent the entire last three years of her life loathing, along with her husband, the dark and mysterious girl her son had chosen as his girlfriend; Cheryl Oliver had to admit that she had never been so pleased to have been proven wrong. Before today, she couldn't understand how Beck could be so fixated on such a rude girl; despite her obvious beauty.

The first time he brought her home, she had been a tiny slip of a girl, dressed from head to toe in black and with a mind of her own. She could admit that she was biased since the beginning; having gained an instant dislike for the girl when the first impression she had of her was Jade yelling at her son. Her eyebrows had been arched in disbelief and questioning over their behavior, and not even Jade's apologetic smile or Beck's pacifying gaze and quick disregard over the incident could change her mind.

Even though Jade tried to play nice and made small-talk; the damage had been done. The first impression was the most important impression, and she certainly had made hers on the Olivers.

Soon after that, the fights began when both she and her husband prompted Beck to end his relationship. They had his best interest at heart, but he refused to listen to their advice.

He was such a handsome and nice boy; he deserved better than a girl like that, who had trouble written all over her. Why couldn't he date a nice and sweet girl? One who was a little more… normal.

The situation only worsened when she realized that Beck would often sneak out after curfew to spend the night with her. They both demanded that he stop; which he completely refused, claiming he was doing nothing wrong and that Jade needed him. John had seethed with fury over the denial, unable to understand how his fifteen year-old son was challenging him over a rule that was more than warranted.

An ultimatum was presented; he hadn't taken it, siding with his girlfriend over them instead.

The RV he currently lived in was a compromise, a last attempt to keep him home instead of out alone in the world with Jade.

Sure, they knew the girl nearly lived full-time with him in there lately, but nothing would get them to admit that. The Olivers would never admit to the countless times they saw the two teens leave together in morning, or how Jade always seemed to be around at all hours of the day.

Claiming ignorance was bliss.

It didn't stop the resentment from growing though. Scowls formed on both her and John's faces when they could hear the arguments coming from in there in the middle of the night. The sound of combat boots slamming against the metal door and the sound of objects crashing at odd hours of the night stopped surprising them after the first two weeks.

She wasn't blind though; as time passed by she realized and admitted to herself that as much as Beck and Jade argued, the girl genuinely made him happy. In fact, he was happier than she had ever seen him. His eyes had fire in them, there was life shining through. His smile wasn't forced and she didn't fear coming home to find a tragedy anymore.

Mother always knows.

She knew there was something dark inside of her son; something that was always simmering right underneath the surface.

It caused him to brood, and she had witnessed the way he blocked his feelings and went numb when he was placed in difficult situations or when he was hurt. She knew how easily he became wrapped in his own world, living in a haze his mind created.

This became evident to her after his brief breakup with Jade.

The behavior she witnessed from Beck had tormented her. He had never been colder, or more monotone. Her charismatic son was gone and replaced by an empty pod; a shell that didn't allow him to feel anything besides anger and resentment. His brown eyes had been empty except for the anger and denial that broke through the rest of his emotions.

When she had questioned him restlessly about it, he exploded. His face had formed into a sneer and anger escaped from his pores. His fist had clenched in pent up frustration and for the first time in his life, he had yelled at her. It took him a second to register his actions, and had been quick to apologize and lock everything down again.

Guilt stained his eyes now.

He was so much like his father that way, so afraid to show any feelings that gave off the appearance of being weak or out of control.

He was different with Jade though; she never gave him a chance to fall into that mindset for long.

The girl was his polar opposite in every sense of the word. They both had that darkness inside of them; but while Beck tried to keep it under lock and key, Jade embraced hers and flourished in it. She kept him on his toes at all times, always moving, changing.

She liked to think of Jade as the burst of electricity that short-circuited the robot that Beck could be, giving him life and allowing him to break free and be himself.

Of course, just because she finally understood and accepted the girl didn't mean her husband shared her views.

It hadn't helped matters when he was attacked by a dog she had brought into their home either.

The arguments had been escalating lately though. John had exploded when Beck informed him that he and Jade were both planning on skipping college and taking a year off to travel around the world, only returning to focus on their careers after. His nostrils flared as his face turned red with the anger that filled him. Beck could have sworn he saw the veins on his neck swell with fury.

His tone had been cool and decisive. Beck sounded like he had mapped out his entire life with Jade and wasn't asking them for permission; he was informing them of this plans. That seemed to upset his father more than him actually taking a year off.

John was convinced Jade influenced Beck into giving up his studies. He had set plans of his son finishing a law career, which was why he had given into Beck attending a performing arts school, in exchange for him attending a university after. Now, he came out of the blue that all those plans were gone and over with.

Fact was; he blamed Jade for just about every little thing Beck did that he disapproved of.

Cheryl knew better though.

She had always known it was only a matter of time before Beck admitted he didn't want to pursue a law degree. Acting was his passion; she has seen him performing enough times to know that no other career in the world would give him the same happiness that the Arts did. Jade had nothing to do in his decision, except for encouraging him to stand up and fight for his dreams.

She returned her attention back to the girl in question, and noticed all the little differences in her.

Jade seemed much happier now, peaceful. She had been given a new opportunity to redeem her image to them and make amends, and she had taken full advantage of it. Cheryl would admit that she had never taken the time to check if she was justified and her motives were personal.

Now she could see that she was a good girl that made her son happy, and Cheryl sincerely wished she hadn't been so blind, judging and harsh to pass judgment with her before.

It would have saved them all a great amount of arguments and misunderstandings.

She was still covered in black; her hair now had streaks of blue in it and piercings adorned her face, but she seemed liberated somehow. The anger and mistrust that had surrounded her when she was younger were now gone, replaced with love that made her glow just a little bit brighter every time she looked at Beck.

It was in that moment that Cheryl knew this girl was the one meant for her son.

Underneath her strict exterior, she was a hopeless romantic. She always believed in soul mates; and she knew deep inside of her that Beck and Jade were destined to be together. Her eyes softened on knowing that if something ever happened to her, Beck would have someone to love him almost as much as she did herself; Jade was that person.

She couldn't stand between them any longer without feeling as if she were breaking something beautiful and shattering it into millions of sharp, dangerous shards, and decided to do everything in her power to change her husband's mind towards the two teenagers.

The party continued, and soon it was time for everyone to go home. Even though John had scowled at the young lovers for the majority of the night, the get-together was considered a success. A new light had been shed upon Jade, and Beck's family stopped seeing her as a bratty girl, and began seeing her as an intelligent and independent young woman in a committed relationship with their little Beck (who really wasn't that little anymore).

"Hey babe, we should go now. I have to go drop off my aunt before I take you home," Beck informed Jade, dangling his car keys in his hand to prove his point. His eyes were drooping from exhaustion; it was already past midnight.

"Wait, Beck. I'll take her home," Cheryl volunteered. Both teenagers were taken aback by the offer, and stared at each other in confusion. Beck stepped discreetly in front of Jade, as if trying to protect her from an impending attack and Cheryl couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at the two.

As warranted as the mistrust was, she truly wasn't planning on ambushing Jade on the car ride home. Jade had made a sincere effort, and now it was time for her to return the favor.

"Oh don't be silly, you two. I really don't mind, and it saves us all a lot of time. Remember it's a school night tomorrow," she added with a sincere smile. The edges around Cheryl's eyes crinkled softly as she exchanged a look with Jade. She knew her boyfriend's mother must have a special reason for her sudden change of heart. Unlike the other times, standing there, conversing with Cheryl was comfortable; there was no overbearing tension or biting remarks to deal with.

"It's ok, Beck. Your mom can take me home and I'll see you tomorrow."

Her fingers intertwined with his and she squeezed his hand reassuringly, before wrapping her arms around his neck as a goodbye. He tightened his grip on her waist and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Jade sighed softly and closed her eyes briefly in contentment, simply taking in the essence that Beck's embrace always gave her. He separated to press a kiss to her lips, before she untangled herself from his arms and followed his mother towards her car.

The first few minutes were awkward, to say the least.

Both women were too unsure of where they stood with the other to begin a conversation. The silence continued until Cheryl broke it, finally tired of feeling as if she were an insecure teenager. She stretched out her hand to lower the radio, and took a deep breath before beginning her discussion.

"Jade, I know that I haven't been the most supportive person I could when it comes to your relationship with my son," she started. She had considered starting the conversation differently, but decided against it. She knew from experience that it was better to get straight to the point with issues like this.

Plus, it was a short ride to Jade's house and she didn't doubt Beck would begin texting and calling her after the time he estimated it took her to get home.

Jade's head snapped up to look at Cheryl and a frown formed on her face as her eyes closed in sadness.

It was exhausting to have so much drama in her life, she was honestly tired of all the lack of support everyone had towards her and Beck. If she didn't love him as much as she did, she probably would have given up, just to avoid it all, a long time ago.

It was impossible to do so now; their lives were connected. Their unbreakable bond joined them forever.

She had thought that they were making progress today, but now she felt that maybe she was about to be subdued to a talk about how she was no good for Beck…again.

"Look, Mrs., Oliver, if you're about to tell me to break up with Beck-" Jade began in an exasperated tone, before she was quickly interrupted by Cheryl.

"It's not that Jade. In fact, I want to apologize to you and him for standing between you for the past three years," she confessed. Jade's eyes narrowed in shocked and her lips slightly parted, having never expected to hear those words leave her lips.

"You don't have to do that; I know I'm not exactly an easy person to like. I promise you, I love your son more than anything in the world," Jade professed. Her eyes were wide and sincere, almost as if she were pleading the older woman to believe her.

"I know you do. I also know he loves you and you make him happier than I've ever seen him before. It's time for us to let him make his own decisions, live his life- one where he wants you with him. I've realized now that if he has to choose between us and you, he's choosing you, Jade. I much rather gain a new daughter, then lose my son." Her voice was empathetic, and Jade couldn't detect any traces of insincerity in it.

Jade's smiled widened, her blue eyes sparkled with glee and she felt the waves of joy wash over her.

This was what she had always wanted.

As much as she denied it, it had always hurt her that his parents seemed to hate her. Now his mother was here, apologizing and telling her she was finally accepted by her. It was a dream come true. Now, if only his father would accept her…

"Thank you, Mrs. Oliver. I would really like us to be friends as well." Jade grabbed her bottle of water and began drinking from it to settle herself down.

Cheryl decided this would probably be the best time to cut the tension in the air, so she spilled out the first joke that she knew would rattle the nervous girl sitting beside her.

"Oh no dear, we need to be more than friends. We can't have my four grandchildren you're going to give me thinking that their mommy and granny don't get along now, can we?"

Her tone was light and teasing, but that didn't stop Jade from chocking on her drink as soon as she registered the words and began coughing frantically.

Had she _really_ just heard that?

Beck's mom asking her for _four_ grandkids?

When Cheryl noticed that Jade couldn't seem to regain her breath, she quickly began patting her on the back and graving for her tissues from the glove compartment.

"It was a joke, Jade. Don't choke on me, dear. Beck would never forgive me if something happened to you," she laughed softly. Jade turned to meet her gaze and forced a smile through her coughs to show her she knew she was joking and that there were no hard feelings.

A series of events happened in the next three seconds that would change their lives forever.

Cheryl Ann Oliver turned her head off the road to pat the girl's back.

Jade West's eyes widened when she noticed the bright headlights from the car approaching much too fast on the empty road while Cheryl was distracted. She had opened her mouth to warn her but she was too late.

The incoming vehicle collided against theirs before either one of the two could even blink.

An anguished scream was the last thing Jade West heard in the midst of the oncoming lights and impending impact.

She wasn't sure if it belonged to her to Cheryl.

And then it all turned black.

Beck&Jade Jade&Beck

**AN: So, I'm back! After a month! **

**Ok, Hope you guys liked the first chapter! This is different for me, and hopefully it's different from other stories on here. Yes, it's a multi-chapter fic! **

**Thanks to my beta Kris, who very subtly suggested I claim how "OMG. KRIS IS DA COOLEST GURL I KNOW!" and "gush about how amazing I am and how meaningless your life would be without me!" **

**Review Dears, and you shall get an update soon ;) **

**-LeleD2010 **


	2. Chapter 2

"_**And I can barely look at you, but every single time I do; I know we'll make it anywhere, away from here." Run- Snow Patrol**_

Beck&Jade Jade&Beck

It was never supposed to be this way.

Jade West opened her eyes and grief filled her senses, numbing any other emotion that could possible rise during her despair. Her blue orbs brimmed with tears she couldn't seem to keep in as her gaze lowered and landed on the boy sleeping besides her, which only caused the sorrow in her heart to intensify.

His arms were wrapped around her middle, and his head was buried in the crook of her neck. Unruly hair draped over his eyes, and she raised her hand to swipe the bothersome strands away from his face. Her lids closed in hurt at the sight of his handsome face.

Even during sleep; the torment he was experiencing refused to let him rest. Tension formed around his jaw; his eyes always threatened to open in an instant over the faintest disruption, and his breathing was uneven.

Guilt tore through her like a blade.

Before she even had an opportunity to stop it; a silent sob escaped from her chest, causing her body to slightly jerk due to the sheer intensity of the situation, and Beck to be shaken out of his slumber. His eyes quickly blinked open a few times, before he released a soft groan and tightened his hold on her.

The recreational vehicle they occupied was covered in darkness; the sun's light still not high enough to filtrate through the small windows and thick curtains. Dirty clothes and disorder were left with little regard in the area, both too preoccupied to remember (or bother) to pick up after themselves. Either way, it wasn't as if they did much; the majority of the past week had been spent sleeping and hiding away from the world.

Her fingertips made their way to his soft hair, repeatedly running them smoothly through the tresses in an effort to provide any sort of comfort- as small as it may be. His body relaxed; momentarily enthralled by her ministrations, wishing more than anything to stay this way with her rather than facing their imminent and suffocating reality.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, for what seemed to be the hundredth time in past few days. He tensed next to her, before releasing a sigh in exasperation and understanding.

"Stop saying that; it's not your fault, Jade."

"You must hate me; all of this is my fault. If she hadn't taken me home none of this would have happened and she would-," she began to ramble, notes of hysteria evident in her voice. Her body trembled, and Beck could feel and hear the choked tone that seemed to strangle her. He quickly stood up from his laying position and landed on his knees, both of his hand cupping her face while hers grabbed his forearms.

"Listen to me," he interrupted her. "None of this is your fault; that drunk driver is the only one responsible here, and I love you."

Chocolate brown eyes met crystal blue in a gaze full of determination. His voice left no room for arguments, the blame wasn't negotiable. He didn't find her responsible, and he sure as hell wasn't going to let her live her life blaming herself for it either.

He knew her, better than she knew herself.

He knew for a fact that if she believed she played a part in his mother's accident, they wouldn't stand a chance together.

That car accident had stolen his mother from him, there was no way he would ever allow it to take Jade as well.

Her eyes softened in resignation, preferring to let the conversation go rather than engage in an argument with him. The edges of her eyes crinkled, her gaze turned away from his and she nodded her head in acceptance. He sighed, before releasing his hold on her and moving his arms to wrap around her instead. His body leaned back against the mattress, and he pulled her along with him. Jade complied, relaxing in his hold and accommodating her body so that it would face his.

"We have to go to the funeral today," she reminded him; her voice timid. The edges of his eyes crinkled in sadness before he nodded. Jade raised a hand to cup his cheek, and Beck leaned his face against the warm touch her fingers provided, closing his eyes in the process.

He was hanging by a thread.

Ever since Jade had woken up at the hospital, he had been there. She had been confused at first, but the memories had bombarded her fragile mind the instant she noticed the pain in his eyes and began scrambling to find the culprit. Her natural instinct to always defend those she loved remained intact, as did her need to punish the guilty.

He just wished she would stop condemning herself.

He needed her, more than ever.

His whole life had just been so completely fucked. He hadn't seen his father since the day his mother passed away in the hospital. The few people he'd come into contact with had made him furious.

They were all a bunch of hypocrites.

Where were they before she died? He went months, even years without seeing the majority of them. Now here they were; claiming to understand, to know how he felt? Offering to help any way they could?

He saw through it though; he could always recognize the guilt in their eyes and the shame over their past actions. They all wanted to find some sort of relief in him; it was as if they believed he could excuse them for their negligence and lack of interest. Cheryl could no longer do it, and now they wanted calm-and-cool Beck to do it.

He was tired of always having to care about what others felt; how events would affect them. He didn't want to be the perfect son and nephew they all knew, he just wanted to let go and be himself for once.

Why should he give them peace, when he was living in hell?

Anger and grief consumed him.

Both emotions ran parallel to each other inside of him. Its claws tore at him constantly, always there and never wavering its hold on him.

It hurt, unbearably so.

He was so fucking exhausted, and so tempted to just give into the darkness that shadowed over him; offering a way out- comfort (it could be so easy).

Beck probably would have given in, if Jade hadn't made it through.

But she had, and she was right here next to him.

Jade; who was his light in the darkness, who made him feel.

As long as she stayed with him, he wasn't going anywhere.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.B&J

The sky was gray and cloudy, and the coincidence wasn't lost in the remaining members of the Oliver family. Nobody really spoke, and the silence was deafening. The only sounds emitted were those of the rain hitting the pavement and grass, accompanied by silent sobs. The mass of people around the center were all dressed in black, visually demonstrating their mourning.

The light rain that fell as the elegant, wooden casket was lowered was fitting, Jade decided.

She had always loved the rain, looking at it as a cleanser to the soul.

It was freeing, liberating.

And Jade West wished it was a sign that Cheryl was peaceful, wherever she may be.

It was also a reminder; the sun always shined its brightest after the rain.

It gave her hope that they would be okay one day.

Of course, that didn't make her oblivious to her surroundings.

She knew they all hated her, blamed her.

To them, she was simply the girl who had made Cheryl's life complicated and caused her distaste. They all looked at her as an intruder, their judging eyes inculpating her once they found out she had been in the vehicle with Cheryl. No one had been present during their last conversation, their last encounter and mutual bond of respect and acceptance that had been formed that day.

Jade stayed close to Beck, refusing and lacking the will to fight them for the day. Her own guilt was enough to keep her down, she didn't need theirs intensifying her feelings. All she wanted was for the day to be over so she could go back into practically hiding from the world with the boy she loved.

Of course, you don't always get what you want.

"Well, look at that; the bitch who killed my wife is here mourning her death," a voice sneered and everyone's attention instantly focused on its owner.

John Oliver staggered his way over, a bottle tightly clenched in his fist. His appearance was disheveled, and he reeked of alcohol; bloodshot eyes and unshaved face only adding to the menacing aura he exuded. Narrowed eyes filled with hatred fixated on Jade, and his nostrils flared as he watched her step behind Beck.

"What? You're not even going to bother to deny it?"

Jade tightened her hold on Beck, feeling her heart quench in her chest at the accusations. Beck could literally feel when her body went rigid behind him, and quickly jumped to her defense.

"Stop this, dad. You're drunk and you don't know what you're saying," Beck spoke up, forming his hands into fists due to his anger. While he understood his father's pain, he wasn't going to allow him to ruin his mother's funeral and insult Jade.

"My God, you're still defending her? You let the first whore who opened her legs for you turn you into an idiot," he spat out, venom lacing his words as his eyes narrowed in disgust. He couldn't believe his own son could continue to choose a stupid girl over his family.

Beck stepped closer to him, taking a defensive stance but also warning his father to back off. His whole posture exuded defiance, wanting John to simply leave them all in peace; but truly not ready to physically fight him.

He didn't want to hurt his father; they were all hurting enough as it was.

"Now you're going to fight me, huh, Beck? That girl is poison and you're stuck on her, which is exactly why we're moving back to Canada," John informed him, the superior tone in his voice evident. There was a glint in his eyes under all the hate, he knew he was winning.

Beck visually stumped back by the news, and his eyes filled with doubt and fear (not that he would ever admit it) at his father's threat. Would he really do this to him? Take him away from his entire life?

One look at his bloodshot eyes, and the gaze filled with hatred he directed at Jade and he had his answer.

He was going to make him leave her.

"You can't do that, Dad. I'm almost eighteen and my whole life is here," he defended his case, squeezing Jade's now intertwined fingers with his. Jade pressed herself closer to him, panic running through her as she processed his words.

John noticed this, and it only caused his fury to increase.

"I'm doing this for you, Beck. She rots everything she touches," he accused, pointing at Jade as his nostrils flared and his face visually turned a deeper shade of red. "She killed your mother and she'll kill you too!"

Behind Beck, Jade gasped at his words; feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of her and she knew that if she hadn't been holding on to him so tightly, she more than likely would have collapsed already.

Oh God, it was all her fault.

"That's it, we're leaving," Beck declared, turning around and pulling Jade with him.

They had barely taken two steps when John caught up to them and grabbed Jade's arm, forcing her to face him for the first time in the entire week. John could see the doubt and guilt reflected in her blue orbs, and decided to shoot the final blow while her defenses were down.

"He might be blind to it right now, but one day he's going to see the truth. All the bad things that have happened in his life are your fault; and he will hate you for them," he vowed, a knowing glint in his eyes; filled with anticipation for the moment that realization occurred. He released Jade's arm, content with the inevitable results of his intervention.

Beck turned back, shooting his father a revolted look before continuing their path towards his truck.

They both needed to get the hell out of there.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-B&J

Neither of the two young lovers spoke after they reached the truck's cabin, the threat of John Oliver looming over them was enough incentive to simply get out of there as quickly as possible.

Beck refused to speak, other than to clarify to her that he in no-way blamed her and to disregard the drunken accusations his father had sent their way.

He tapped one of his hand's fingers on his thighs while he drove, alternating between that action and running his fingers through his hair. Jade recognized the nervous habits the instant she saw them, but decided not to comment on them. They both knew very well why Beck was so stressed, as was she.

He needed a solution, something permanent that would benefit both him and Jade. Anger flowed through his veins, and he knew he needed to find something before he ended up back in Canada and away from Jade.

The idea hit him as he parked in front of the West residency.

"Let's leave."

Jade's head snapped up to meet his gaze, not sure whether she had heard him correctly or not. He couldn't be serious, could he? Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and her lips parted in shock.

"Leave where?" She asked him, still confused about just what he was talking about. She didn't want to jump to conclusions just yet.

"Let's get out of here. Just pack a bag and we can both leave. They can't keep us apart if they don't know where we are," he stated, as if he was talking about going out for ice cream and not about leaving their entire lives behind.

He spoke as if his idea was the only logical solution.

"Beck, we have to think about this; we can't just pack up and leave. Neither one of us is even eighteen yet," she reminded him. Beck narrowed his eyes at her, irritated with her lack of enthusiasm and her apparent refusal to even consider his offer.

"What the hell, Jade?" He snapped at her. "I've heard you complain for days about how you can't wait to get out of here. Now that we have to, for us, you don't want to? Would you rather I just fucking leave to Canada with my dad and we never see each other again?"

"No, that's not it and you know it! We have to think things more thoroughly, so we don't make any decisions we'll regret later," Jade tried to clarify. Wanting him to rationalize and realize their situation couldn't be fixed so easily.

She was so tired of running from everything emotionally; she didn't want to have to physically do it as well.

Beck, however, was past the point of rationalizing, and currently running on nothing but the mess of emotions that had overtaken his mind.

"So now you would regret leaving with me? So much for your so-called love," he shot back at her, disbelief and betrayal burning in his eyes. The usual brown orbs that seemed to glow had turned into a pitch black hue due to his anger, and Jade wanted them to come back more than anything in the world.

"Stop it. I love you," she offered, and she wished her voice hadn't trembled the way it did when the words left her mouth. She needed to be stronger than this.

An irrational Beck and a vulnerable Jade were not a good combination.

Beck grabbed one of her hands with his, and lifted her chin to meet his gaze before cupping her cheek with the other. Jade leaned her face into his palm, wishing there was a way they could fix things without such radical actions. Wishing things could go back to the way they used to be.

Wishing; but knowing it would never happen.

"Then come with me," he pleaded, his gaze burning into hers. "We can leave and never look back; we'll be together forever, babe. Just, you and me. You only have to say 'yes', and nothing can stop us."

She didn't know what she wanted to do.

His father's words and warning were still fresh in her mind.

What if once they were far away, Beck blamed her for everything? What if his resentment grew when he realized he left it all for her? His family, his friends…

She would never be able to handle Beck hating her.

But when she stared into his eyes right now, so full of love and fierce determination; the overwhelming need to make him happy pushed against her unsettling doubts.

It was the time-less battle between the heart and mind.

As always- her heart won.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-B&J

Beck left quickly after she agreed to leave with him, promising to return in half an hour after he collected his own belonging and ran a few final errands.

He wasn't an idiot; he knew she still had doubts, but he wasn't planning on giving her enough time to think over their new plans. He was sure once they were away, she'd realize he had been right all along and then they could both move on with their new lives.

This brought Jade West to her current situation, messily packing her indispensable belonging into a large duffel bag. She made a quick mental note to stop by the bank before they got too far. Her father, while inconsiderate with his daughter's emotional needs; had never been financially irresponsible with her.

If only he could understand that money couldn't buy love.

Jade would have preferred he never gave her a dime, if he could just try and show her his love and acceptance instead.

Both her and Beck had sufficient funds to survive a few weeks without any sort of income, she had watched enough Criminal Minds to know using her bank and credit cards would only get them caught that much faster.

She felt the edges of her eyes rim with unshed tears when she noticed a framed picture of her, Beck, and their friends on her dresser. The tears spilled over when her eyes landed on the photograph of her younger brother, mother and herself right next to it.

Once they started, they wouldn't stop.

She cried over everything.

His mother passing away and the guilt she felt; the pain Beck felt.

She cried over having to leave her friends, who had somehow squirmed their way into her heart.

Andre: with his caring personality and the smile always present on his face, music surrounding his very essence. Robbie: who was finally learning to stand up for himself, and letting go of Rex. Cat: Who was her best friend, and who she had pushed away when her relationship with Beck began, and Tori. Tori: who she tried so hard to hate, but somehow became her confidante, her friend.

She cried over her little brother, Sam. The one she enjoyed messing with, but loved and was fiercely protective of. The ten year-old boy who always looked up at her with pride and admiration in his shiny blue eyes.

She cried over her father's disinterest in her, and the disappointment she knew her departure would leave her mother.

Mostly, she cried because for once, she didn't know what else to do.

She felt weak, and lonely, and so confused and vulnerable that she knew if she didn't cry, she would start screaming at the top of her lungs, and she wouldn't be able to stop.

Jade took a deep breath to control herself, taking comfort in knowing that it wouldn't last forever.

They only really needed to be away for around six months.

Beck would turn eighteen in a few weeks, and she would follow suit in five months. If they could successfully stay away for that long, they could eventually return and nothing would be able to separate them- not even his father.

She quickly collected the picture frames and safely packed them between her clothes for protection. She began running on autopilot, her hands grabbing without really concentrating on anything. Clothes, pictures, shoes, jewelry: everything she really needed, and things she couldn't leave behind.

Jade only really broke out of it to grab her secret box from the top shelf of her closet. It was her memory box, full of pictures of her and Beck since before they began their relationship. Every little thing that he'd ever given her was in there, rings and bracelets and letters that meant the world to her.

She was glad she found it- she needed to remember just why they were worth all of this.

After she finished packing, Jade began pulling the heavy bag down the stairs; wishing Beck was here so he could carry it down instead, without anything breaking. She was halfway down when a voice stopped her on her tracks.

"Hey, honey. Planning on taking a trip somewhere?" Her mother asked, a knowing tone on her voice which made Jade realize there was no way she was tricking her mother into believing she was simply going out for a ride (because the duffel bag wasn't a dead giveaway). "How about you come to the living room with me, and we talk about this?"

Jade stared at her mother with wide eyes, before she dropped her hold on the bag and did as she was told. She hadn't expected her to be home, she was always away at work during this time of the day.

"Sam wanted me to pick him up earlier from his friend's house today, and I stopped by to get his soccer gear," she answered when Jade asked her about it. "Why are you leaving, Jade?"

Jade stared at her mother, trying to decipher whether to tell her the truth or not.

Her mother, who had never been able to really understand her. The woman who had taught her to be independent, but lost control of her daughter and could never bring herself to be a nurturing source for her. She had been so young, just seventeen when Jade was born.

She had acted as an older sister, when Jade needed her to be her mother.

That didn't mean she didn't love her.

Emma West loved her daughter and son more than anything in the world, but her relationships with them were different, mostly because she had older and more mature when Sam was born, a different kind of connection had formed.

"Beck's dad wants to take him away to Canada, and we're going to leave before he does," Jade finally admitted, lowering her eyes to hide the rest of the story.

"Ok, I can understand that. Now tell me, why you're _really_ leaving. I know you, and there has to be more than that," Emma asked her, a soft expression on her face, wanting to show her daughter that she was trying to understand her.

"His dad blames me for everything, and he might be right," she answered her, the tenor in her voice breaking as she struggled to breathe and keep herself under control. Emma could see the doubt in her eyes, and the fear and she knew that instant that Jade was breaking down, and needed her more than ever.

She quickly stood up, taking her place next to her on the leather sofa and wrapping her arms around her daughter for the first time in months, giving her the sort of comfort only a mother could.

Her heart was broken, and every girl needed her mother during heartbreak.

There were no words, for that wasn't their kind of relationship. It was a silent offering of love and acceptance, an unconditional love that had always been there, but neither knew how to embrace.

Jade tightened her hold on her mother, and broke down.

She told her everything that had happened lately, all her doubts and fears. All the while, Emma ran her fingers through Jade's hair and patted her back softly, just listening; understanding. She gave Jade the chance to express herself without judgments, only intervening when she seemed to sink into a downward spiral.

"I don't want to leave," Jade confessed, finally admitting the truth to herself.

"Then don't go."

"But Beck needs me, he would never forgive me if I left him alone now."

"Honey, you can't live your life only doing what makes him happy," her mother advised her. "You're seventeen years-old, you shouldn't be dealing with all of this and making decisions that you know you'll regret."

"I love him, mom. I love him so much it hurts to even think about being away from him."

"Jade, he's your first love. You've been with him for so long and I know that it feels like he's the only person you will ever love, but honey, there's so much of the world you don't know yet. So many other people you still have to meet, and things you have to enjoy. You're so broken right now, and so is Beck. You want to go with him to fix him, but you can't do that before you fix yourself. Take this time away from him, and find yourself."

Jade listened to her mother silently, absorbing her words and letting them simmer in her mind. Contemplating all her options, and the way they would affect her and everyone around her.

Could she really leave her mother, who had finally connected with her and formed the bond she had longed for her entire childhood?

Or could she leave Beck, who owned her entire heart and had just lost his mother? The boy who was willing to leave everything behind just to be with her?

Emma would never really let her go, regardless of her understanding nature. If she left with Beck, she would find her and bring her home. On the contrary, Beck had the ability to convince her to do just about anything. If she left with him, she doubted it would take him very long to convince her to leave them all behind in the fear of getting caught. If she didn't leave with him, she would have to end all contact, or she would just end up running back to him.

Whatever she chose, she was breaking someone's heart; along with her own.

Still, it was a decision she had to make.

Jade stood up from the sofa, grabbing her phone as she made her way to her room, careful to not disturb the abandoned bag on the stairs. She closed the door behind her, and sat on her bed.

Taking a deep breath, she dialed the number she knew by heart and waited as the call was connected, he answered in the second ring.

"I love you," she said as soon as she heard him answer the phone.

"I love you too, babe, so much. Hold on, I'll be there in five minutes, and then all this will be over."

"Beck, don't," she whispered into the mobile device.

"Jade, what are you talking about? Don't what?" He questioned her, and Jade didn't miss the panic in his voice.

He knew what was about to happen.

"I love you, Beck, so much; but I can't go with you."

"Jade, don't do this. Let's talk about this, don't just let us go," he pleaded.

Jade didn't even bother to try and stop the tears that streamed down her cheeks, or the pain that filled her chest as she heard him professing his love, begging her to listen, to not give up on them.

"I love you, Beck, and I'm so sorry; but this is goodbye," she finally told him, interrupting his protests before ending the call and throwing her phone to other side of the room.

She laid down in her bed, feeling like a stranger in her own bedroom and wishing she could run to his RV and bury herself underneath his sheets and never come up again. Jade pulled a pillow into her arms, along with one of the many flannel shirts she had stolen from him that had previously been residing on her night stand.

She quickly threw off her blouse, and redressed in his red shirt. She wanted to pretend it was him there with her, and if she closed her eyes and thought of his face, she could achieve it for a second. Holding on to her pillow for dear life, she buried her face into her blankets and forced herself to sleep, tears continually flowing until sleep and exhaustion finally conquered her.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.B&J

**AN: So this took longer than I had anticipated, but it's finally here! **

**Don't worry dears, there's always hope for Beck and Jade whenever I'm involved ;) Of course, this depends on whether you guys review or not! **

**Tell me what you think, should Jade have left with Beck, or do you understand why she didn't? I love reading your feedback 3 **

**Thanks for the awesome reviews on my update to Daydreamer! If you haven't read it and are in need of some fluff after this story, head over there for some!**

**Also, don't forget to check out my dear Kris' (imlaughingnow) new story, Remembering Jade. It is absolute epic-ness. And review her too! **

**Who knows, you guys might get an update by Sunday! **

**-LeleD2010**


	3. Chapter 3

"_**It seems like every time I try to make it right, it all comes down on me. Please say honestly you won't give up on me." I Shall Believe- Sheryl Crow**_

-.-.-.-.-

Nobody was really surprised when Jade West didn't show up to school that Friday…

That is, except for Tori Vega.

The young brunette knew how hurt the raven-haired girl was; as did the rest of her friends. The difference was that she was the only one who seemed to want to help her. Tori still worried every single day, and tried to cheer up Jade any way she could.

But it was as if the rest of them had given up on her.

She shook her head in disappointment as she made her way through the bright halls of Hollywood Arts, pretending it didn't faze her to pass by Beck's (now abandoned) transparent locker. Soon, she reached the before mentioned friends; who were all sitting at their usual lunch table at the Asphalt Café.

They were being uncharacteristically quiet, and she wanted to know why.

"Hey guys, what's going on? Do any of you know where Jade is?" Tori asked as she dropped her book bag onto the deserted space beside her.

"Today's November 4th," Cat Valentine answered quietly, her large brown eyes filling with sadness. She lowered her head and returned her attention to the untouched pasta on her tray.

"What does that have to do with Jade?"

"Today would have been Beck and Jade's anniversary," Andre clarified, and she didn't miss the slight bitterness that entered his tone as he spoke their names.

"The Wicked Witch of the West and Pretty Boy would have been together for three years today, you know; if she hadn't ditched him," Rex piped up, before Robbie shrieked in indignation and scolded him for the comment.

Tori's lips formed into a frown as her brain registered their words.

They were all so angry and hurt, and it had already been four weeks since Beck left.

Beck's departure had shaken them all, but as expected; Jade was the most affected.

She was… unstable, to say the least.

The first week that Beck was gone, Jade had been inconsolable.

Nobody could get her out of her room, and when her mother finally convinced her to go to school the second week; things had gotten intense. She walked around in a haze of sorrow and self-pity; the fire was gone from her eyes, as was her usual passionate nature.

Except when she felt overwhelmed; then she would explode.

Jade would lash out at everything and everyone that crossed her path, choosing to adopt a destructive personality in those instances. It wasn't like before, when she would do it out of anger or frustration; now she did it out of despair, out of necessity. Panic would overtake her and she'd push back anyone who got too close for comfort.

Tori noticed how it mostly happened when people tried to question her about Beck, and she never missed the (always-present) hollowness and pain in her (now-dull) blue eyes.

Now that Beck was gone, so was her balance. She was always either at one end of an extreme, or the other.

So when Jade lashed out at Tori one day, she didn't take it personally or let it offend her. She knew Jade was simply trying to push her away so she could be left alone, and it only served to further fuel her desire to help the girl who had considered her a rival for so long.

Unfortunately, Cat had also been subjected to one of Jade's attacks, and the sensitive redhead had not been as understanding. She couldn't understand how her best friend, her sister, could be so mean to her, when all she wanted was to help.

When they were younger, they had been confidants; swearing eternal friendship and loyalty. They told each other everything, and even though Cat couldn't always understand Jade's rationalizing and decisions; she had always accepted them (and her) without any objections or conditions.

Then Beck Oliver came along, and he stole Jade away from her.

Suddenly, it stopped being Jade and Cat: best friends forever, and became Beck&Jade: everything, always.

When news broke that Beck was now gone, Cat couldn't stop the bittersweet feelings that ran through her. Of course she would miss Beck, he was her friend; but maybe now that he was no longer a part of their lives, she could have her Jade back. They could go back to the way things used to be, before any boys had made their way so permanently into their lives.

Disappointment and hurt filled the (usually) perky girl when she realized that even if Beck wasn't physically there, he still had complete control of Jade's heart and attention. She was competing against a memory (and losing). The girl she had known her entire life; the strong, independent Jade who promised to never change, wasn't there anymore.

It was then that Cat Valentine accepted that maybe Jade West would never be the girl she grew up regarding as her sister again, and she wasn't sure she liked and wanted this new Jade in her life.

So she stopped trying, and stayed away.

Andre Harris didn't know what he felt, expect for a small resentment against both Beck and Jade.

He would admit that he didn't know the whole story, Beck having not informed any of them and Jade refusing to speak about it; but he was still angry.

Because what he _did_ know was that Cheryl had passed away, and Jade had abandoned Beck when he needed her the most.

He couldn't understand what had prompted her to break up with him; he was offended on Beck's behalf, which was why he kind of understood why Beck had left so suddenly and cut off all communication.

It didn't mean he was fine-and-dandy with his decision.

They were supposed to be best friends, and Beck had just dropped him like hot iron. Didn't he deserve at least the courtesy of a phone call or final conversation? He knew the girl in question meant a lot to him, but that didn't excuse him from disregarding the rest of his friend's feelings.

Jade had been his friend too, an initial mutual artistic respect and acceptance had formed into an honest friendship (and small crush on his side). She was one of the only people he felt could really understand his creative ideas, and keep up with him intellectually.

Now Beck was gone, and Jade might as well be, with the way she acted; he'd lost two of his best friends at the same time, and there was nothing he could do about it.

And Robbie Shapiro was just (plain) angry.

Beck was his friend, his _real_ friend, and Robbie had always had an admiration for him.

It was why he always followed him around, and listened to his advice. Beck had turned into an older-brother figure for him. Even though he knew he his personality often annoyed him and their friends, Beck was always there for him.

For the first time, Robbie knew what it felt like to have someone really be there, he had an image to imitate.

His father had walked out on him and his family when he was too young to remember, and he never had any brothers. The only people ever to be an example for him were his Ma-maw and mother. Both wonderful, but not what a growing boy needed as a role model.

Now he was gone; and more than likely never coming back.

And he had no one else to blame, but Jade.

While Tori could understand their reasons for being upset with Jade, she didn't accept them.

Couldn't they see that she needed them?

Jade was more alone than ever, and they were turning their backs on her?

What kind of friends were they? Where was their loyalty and solidarity?

In that moment, Tori decided she would be paying Jade a visit as soon as school ended.

-.-.-.-.-

When Tori arrived at the West Residence, she didn't know what to expect.

She'd been over on a few occasions, so it was no problem getting Linda to let her into the house. In fact, she could have sworn she saw relief in the housekeeper's eyes as she pointed her towards Jade's bedroom. Her attention was diverted when she passed by the living room and noticed the young boy sitting there, eyes mindlessly watching a random kid's show on television.

It was Sam.

As if reading her mind, the boy turned around to stare at her with the familiar wide, blue eyes. The same eyes his sister had, which they inherited from their father.

Tori had always been a sucker for the boy, believing that his shiny blue eyes and shaggy, brown hair made him just about the most adorable kid she had ever seen. Except that his eyes looked too familiar this time, and not in the way they should.

They were full of sadness, just like Jade's.

"Hey, Tori," he greeted her, his voice quiet and low, eyes returning to the screen in front of him.

"Hey Sam, what's up?"

"Jade won't come out of her room, and she's been in there since yesterday when she got home from school," he informed her. "Usually my mom can get her to come out, but she left on a business trip for the weekend."

"Tori, do you know why she's so mad and won't talk to me? I think she hates me now, but I don't know what I did."

He turned around once again, and Tori's heart broke when she saw the thick tears rolling down his now-flushed cheeks. Confusion filled his voice, as did his frustration over the dilemma. His lips formed into a pout as he tried to stop himself from crying, because boys don't cry (daddy said so).

She quickly made her way towards Sam, and enveloped him in a hug. The boy clung on to her, and Tori knew that she had to help Jade not just for her, but also for all the people who were hurting with her.

"No Sam, she doesn't hate you. Your sister's just going through a really hard time right now, but I promise to help her get back to normal," Tori comforted him, leaning down to wipe away the evidence of his tears as he sniffled next to her.

After spending a couple of more minutes making sure Sam was feeling better, she quickly continued her path up the stairs and to Jade's room; determination burning in her.

To her surprise, the door wasn't locked.

Tori almost wished it had been.

"Jade?" She called out, testing to see just what she had to brace herself for.

"Go away, Vega," came the muffled response, but Tori heard the broken tone, and she pushed herself further into the dark room.

The thick, dark curtains were shut, blocking out any sort of light from the outside. Articles of clothing were scattered throughout the room, and in the center of it all; there was Jade.

She was lying down on her bed, covers pulled over her body and arms clutching a pillow close to her. Her face was buried into the same pillow, trying to avoid the light from the hallway that filtered into the room in any way possible.

Tori closed the door behind her, and made her way next to the opposite side of the room, deciding to sit on the floor and rest her back against the wooden bed frame.

"Leave, I just want to be alone," she snapped from her place, but her voice lacked force.

"No, I don't think so. I'm not leaving until you understand that you're not alone."

"Fine; do whatever you want," Jade answered back, too tired to even argue at this point.

She was just… exhausted.

She was tired of pretending she was fine. She was tired of the superior and knowing looks everyone at school shot her; they all thought Beck had finally left her (as if they had any idea of the truth). She was tired of the rumors that still hadn't died down, and appeared to grow every day.

She was tired of the judgment in her friend's eyes:

Andre's accusing (she's so sorry).

Robbie's hatred (she never wanted him to leave).

Cat's sadness (she could never understand).

Tori's worry (she should be).

She hated the way her little brother looked at her, like if she was broken (she was).

She hated the way her mother always hovered over her when she was around, as if she was going to run away back to Beck at any moment (which she might).

She was tired of the way Sikowitz stared at her, and always picked her to demonstrate to the class (oh, so now he chose her).

She was tired of Lane's insistence that she talk to him; she didn't need anyone to help her (she really did).

Most of all; she was tired of how much everything just hurt.

She hated the pain that stabbed through her chest, always throbbing inside of her and preventing her from breathing. She hated the way she couldn't eat, because of the rancid sensation that ran up her throat after she took a bite; the way it seemed to be stuck in her chest. She didn't have a disorder, of that she was sure; it was simply the metaphorical weight (that felt too real) pressing against her heart, that didn't allow her body to function properly.

Jade only wanted to stay here, in her room; away from everything and everyone. She wanted to sleep; sleep and not wake up until things didn't hurt anymore, or at least not as much.

Well, that's not entirely true; she wanted one thing more than everything else.

She wanted Beck to stop calling her (but dreaded the day he actually did, just as much).

The constant phone calls and text-messages had to stop; they made her doubt herself.

Those calls made her want to answer him, which she never did; because she knew once he got her in a weaker state, she'd be on the first flight to Canada, back to him. She had to remind herself why she chose to stay, and that only got harder to do with each passing day.

He left her a few voicemails: those, she couldn't stop herself from listening, or from reading his texts. She needed to at least hear him, to have that verification that he was still alive and somewhere in the world; even if she couldn't be there with him, even if it broke her heart (call her a masochist).

In some of them; he was sweet, and she would listen as his voice pleaded with her to answer him; to talk to him so they could fix everything and be together again. Sweet promises and reminders of dreams and plans they had together, references to their future never missing (it could be so easy).

In others; he hated her. He cursed her, and ever falling for her. He called her every insult he could think of, and said things carefully calculated to hurt her the most; to stab through her defenses. He wanted her to hurt, just as much as he was hurting (it's ok though, she knows she deserves it).

On those occasions: a message from him reading,_ I'm Sorry, _would be in her text-messages the next day, without a fail.

And she forgave him, because how could she not; when she had so much more to be repentant for?

"Talk to me, Jade. I promise not to judge, I just want to help you."

Jade was broken out of her thoughts by the voice speaking to her; Vega.

She had forgotten for a second that she was there; Tori had been unusually quiet since she marched into her room. She was at a lost for what to do, but she was still here, still trying after everyone else gave up; Jade had to admit that the girl was loyal.

It was then that Jade realized something.

Unlike the others, Tori didn't want anything from her; she didn't expect anything in return from her.

Her mother wanted her to forget Beck and move on; Sam wanted her to go back to normal; Cat wanted her best friend back; Robbie wanted her to bring Beck back; and Andre wanted answers: all things she couldn't and wasn't ready to do yet.

But not Tori Vega.

The only thing Tori wanted, was the chance to help. She wanted to help Jade fix herself again, because she cared, and for nothing else. So Jade decided that if she had to talk to someone, someone who might be able to understand her and her reasons, that person would be Tori.

She stretched out her arm from underneath the soft pillow and rested her hand of Tori's shoulder; who didn't miss a beat and quickly placed her hand over Jade's, lightly squeezing her fingers to prove she was there; she was listening, and wasn't going anywhere.

It was a silent acceptance of friendship.

"I miss him," Jade whispered.

"I know you do, we all do," Tori conceded, before pressing for more information. There was obviously more to the story for Jade to be so torn up about it. "What really happened, Jade, why did Beck leave?"

"His mom passed away in a car accident, and I was with her when it happened," Jade confessed.

Tori's eyes widened in surprise and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, before a thought started creeping up her spine.

"Did Beck blame you?" She asked quietly, not wanting to believe he'd be capable of doing so; but understanding how it might be a possibility.

"No, he didn't," Jade assured her, before adding, "His dad did. He blames me for everything."

"He was right, you know," she continued sardonically. "I'm poison. If Cheryl hadn't taken me home, she'd still be here. He said everything bad that happened in Beck's life lately was my fault, and that he'd blame me one day too. He said it in front of everyone, at the funeral, and Beck wanted me to leave with him; but I couldn't. I loved him, I really did; but I couldn't," Jade rambled out, all the emotions she had been suppressing flooding out of her as her grip tightened on the brunette's shoulder; fingernails digging into the plaid material.

Tori winced, and she could tell that her skin would more than likely be bruised in a few hours.

The distraught girl continued speaking, unloading on her and Tori's heart broke; just as much as Jade's did. She had to fight off the urge to protest as she listened to some of blames Jade placed on herself. She could obviously see that she didn't deserve them; that Jade was wrong and just couldn't see it yet because of the guilt she felt.

She didn't turn around or tried to stop her though.

Because Tori had been in a similar situation before, and she knew that you don't always need someone to comfort you and say everything will be alright.

Sometimes, the only thing you really need is for someone to listen without judging.

Tori knew Jade, and she knew she liked working things out on her own; she didn't like pity or help from anyone.

Jade hated feeling weak and vulnerable, but her walls were down at the moment.

Tori was sure that if she interrupted or tried to comfort her; those same walls would snap back into place and Jade would push her away.

Plus, there wasn't really anything she could say that could fix her problems; so she did the only thing she could.

Jade had finally opened up to her; and Tori knew that she would be able to help her see the truth with time. Together, they would find a way to let go of the pass and move on. Jade was broken, but she didn't have to always be that way. It would be a long and difficult process, but she had faith that it would be worth it at the end.

Right now, Tori simply listened; and for Jade, that was enough.

-.-.-.-.-

Two weeks later, Jade West was not having a good day.

While she was starting to feel better, it didn't mean that she was fine now; by any length of the word.

Lane had called her into his office, again.

Except this time, it wasn't to give her a lecture on how she needed to talk to somebody. She had the suspicion that Tori had told him she was helping her so that he would back off of her.

This visit however, was not due to her emotional well- being; but to her academic one instead.

He had made it quite clear that, while he understood her; she had to show work before she failed out of her classes.

Jade would admit that she had been lacking in her school work lately. Honestly, she wanted to do the work; but she couldn't concentrate enough to focus on math equations and physics. Her mind was a mess, thoughts frantically bounced from one side to the next, filled with unsolved dilemmas that had nothing to do with school.

So now, she was going to get kicked out if she didn't catch up in a month and half's work.

To top it all off, she had received a new message from Beck.

To say that he was angry today would be the understatement of the century.

Jade wished she could tell Tori about it, but knew it was impossible. There was no doubt in her mind that once the brunette found out about the continued communication and the effect it had on her, she would force her to stop it. The phone would likely be confiscated, ending all contact. So she hid that fact from her, and everybody else.

They were making progress, they really were. Jade trusted Tori, and listened to her advice. She was starting to see herself in a new light, and she liked the change that was happening.

But that phone was the last link she had to Beck.

Giving it up would be the equivalent of letting go of him once and for all.

How was she going to find out if he was still fine, if she didn't have that reminder?

He refused to call anyone besides her (she knew, she'd asked). Even if she didn't answer him, at least she knew that he was still out there (he still cared).

Was it deteriorating to her? Definitely so.

Did she care? Not a bit.

Now here she was, tapping her fingers angrily against the metal table as she tried to decipher the Physics textbook placed in front of her. Soon enough she gave up on it, deciding it was pointless to try and concentrate when her mind refused to think of anything besides Beck.

She crossed her arms in front of her and rested them on top of the book, before dropping her head onto them and beginning to take deep breaths.

The pain was still there, just as always; but now she was finding ways to manage it. She knew one day she's wake up and realize it didn't hurt anymore, or at the very least she'd be able to remember Beck with serenity. She wouldn't think of him as her tragic love story; but as her real, first love.

For now though; it still hurt like a bitch.

"You know, he would hate seeing you this sad."

"I highly doubt that," she murmured to herself, his last message still fresh on her mind.

Jade lifted her face to meet Andre's soft brown eyes, worry etched into them. She narrowed her eyes at him, trying to decipher his intentions.

This was the first time he had voluntarily spoken to her by himself, since Beck left. She knew he blamed her, and that was okay with her; so what did he want now? He looked nervous, but sincere?

She couldn't tell anymore.

"I've been thinking a lot lately," he began quietly. "And I'm sorry," Andre added, looking away from her.

"Why are you sorry?" Jade asked, genuinely confused.

He sighed, before taking a seat in front of her. They were alone, Jade having decided to sit in a reclusive area away from the rest of the school population (running as usual). Regardless, Andre didn't have to worry about other people hearing and spreading their conversation.

"For being a bad friend to you," he finally answered her. "I was so upset with how I felt, that I forgot that you were feeling even worse. I guess it was just easier to blame you, rather than trying to understand your reasons."

Jade was taken aback. She hadn't expected him to ever speak to her again, much less apologize. She softened her eyes at him, and forced her lips to form a smile for his benefit.

"It's okay, I understand."

"It shouldn't be okay though," he contradicted her. "Beck was my best friend, but you're my friend too. I shouldn't have turned my back on you the way I did. Can we be friends, if I promise not to do it again?"

His eyes were sincere and hopeful, looking for redemption. She lightly angled her face, as if seriously contemplating her options.

"Help me with this Physics homework, and I'll think about it," she answered him, finally ending his suspense.

And Andre knew he was forgiven.

-.-.-.-.-

It was December 26th; almost three months since the last time Jade West had seen Beck Oliver.

More importantly; it was the first day Jade woke up and felt that maybe things were finally going to start really changing for her. Maybe the universe finally realized all the shit it put her through, and was giving her a breather.

Because last night she had smiled, a _real_ smile; for the first time in a way too long.

Tori and Andre had somehow convinced her to perform with them in a special Christmas Event, for charity. They had both been incredible to her in the past few weeks, when she needed them most; and Jade couldn't deny them that small act of gratitude.

Tori had transformed herself into a sister for her, always willing to listen. Jade knew that she could always count on her, for anything. Tori would be there for Jade every time she broke down and wanted to give up. She forced her to see that she wasn't to blame, and baked her muffins to cheer her up; when all else failed.

Andre had taken the role of an older brother. It was as if he believed that if Beck was gone, it was his responsibility to protect her. She knew he kept the other students at bay, making sure they left her alone. He even managed to get Rex to stop making comments about Beck when she was around.

Being up on a stage, singing her heart out, letting everything out again; it had amazing, almost therapeutically so.

Beck was still always on her mind, and probably always would be; but it was becoming manageable to be without him now.

She knew she'd be okay again.

Besides her, the green Pear Phone began vibrating.

Jade grabbed for it, figuring it'd probably be Tori who wanted to keep celebrating over the success of the event, or maybe tell her about the Christmas gifts she received.

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion when she looked at the screen and didn't recognize the number. She always checked, not wanting to answer Beck by accident.

She considered for a moment that it might be her father, calling to congratulate them from wherever he currently was. Her father had so many different telephone numbers, that she didn't bother to try and keep track of them. Curiosity got the best of her, and her fingers tapped over the "Accept" option when it rang for the third time.

"Um, is this Jade West?" The frantic voice over the opposite end questioned. It was a guy, and he sounded the same age as her, which only served to confuse Jade even more.

Who was calling her, and why did they have her number?

"Yeah, who's this?"

"Oh thank God," the voice answered, releasing a sigh of relief. "My name's Michael, and I'm calling because of my friend Beck Oliver."

Jade quickly sat upright from her place on the chair in her room, clutching the phone closer to her ear to make sure she wasn't imagining anything. Beck would never give her phone number to anyone, specially someone she didn't know.

"What happened to Beck, where is he?" She questioned him, a bad feeling forming on the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong, something was definitely wrong.

"Beck's in the hospital right now; and you really need to be here."

-.-.-.-.-

**AN: And here is Chapter 3! **

**OK, so don't hate me yet. I promise the next chapter is all Bade and them being reunited (and it feels so good! –Sorry, couldn't help myself- )**

**Do you guys understand why Jade won't answer Beck? **

**I hope this makes sense, I tried to show a little of how each of them is feeling. If you're confused about anything, just ask me and I'll try to explain it =) **

**Thanks so much for all the awesome reviews you guys leave, they really make my day.**

**Don't forget to Review Kris aka imlaughingnow's new stories! One Is a Bade and the other is a Jori friendship!**

**And don't forget to Review!**

**-Lele **


	4. Chapter 4

"_**It was like a time bomb set into motion, we knew that we were destined to explode. And if I had to pull you out of the wreckage, you know I'm never gonna let you go." Time Bomb- All Time Low**_

*Honestly, if you haven't heard of All Time Low; you need to check them out, immediately (after you finish reading and reviewing)!

Their music is just amazing. They have some awesome upbeat songs, but the majority of them have so much meaning and feeling in the lyrics.

Lele's moment of shameless promotion: over.

-.-.-.-.-

_How could he do this?_

Those were the words that kept repeating like a mantra in Jade West's mind as she ended the call with the informative stranger.

Jade knew Beck had been upset; but she never expected him to resort to such drastic measures. She had wished with her entire heart that he was learning to move on, the way she was doing so.

It wasn't as if he would be completely alone (whatever helped her sleep at night).

He had always been popular, regardless of his current location. He had friends in Canada he'd grown up with. It was the same friends he would interact with any time they took family vacations back to his hometown. Jade knew that they would help him through this, if only he gave them the chance.

She had hoped that his constant calls were because he was being stubborn, but that he was letting her go with time (keep kidding yourself).

Could she do it?

Could she face him after so many weeks of avoiding and hiding from him?

After abandoning him?

What if he really hated her now?

What if she got there, and he finally wanted nothing more to do with her?

His refusal could be the end of her self-control, the final break to her broken (and barely functioning) heart.

Because she needed to know that even if Beck moved on; she would always live in his heart, just as he was forever in hers.

If that uncertainty was removed without a doubt, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle that knowledge (as selfish as that made her).

Tori, Andre, and herself had been working so hard to help her put it back together. It had taken so long, so much effort, and now it was all up in the air.

Jade wasn't sure her heart could take another blow; she didn't know if it'd be able to piece itself together next time; even with the help of her friends.

Did she have the strength, the courage, to take that risk?

_He needs help, he needs you. If you care about him at all; you need to come here, now. _

Michael's words were still fresh on her mind; reminding her of the lack of importance her feelings had at the moment.

Because Beck needed her.

As much as she tried to deny it, to prove otherwise; she needed him too.

And Jade West had turned away from him once before, but she couldn't do it again.

Not now, and not ever again.

Fuck the risk.

She had to get to Vancouver.

Once she made her decision (which was never even really an option), Jade quickly pulled out her PearPad. Checking for all available flights, she booked one that would be leaving in three hours; giving her just enough time to grab her things and check into the airport.

After printing out her confirmation, she grabbed her black schoolbag and emptied out its few contents into a random cardboard box; pushing it under the large bed to avoid raising any suspicions.

Nobody could know what she was doing.

They would all try to stop her, and she didn't want to be stopped this time.

Placing her wallet and passport in the bag, Jade grabbed her car keys and was about to head downstairs when a pair of tiny paws patted against her boots, asking to be lifted into her owner's comforting embrace.

Midnight Lynnette.

The tiny, tabby kitten purred as it rubbed its ginger-furred body around her feet, trying to capture her attention.

She had been Tori's Christmas gift to her.

_I rescued her from being taken into a shelter, and I just knew she was meant to be with you. So that anytime you feel alone, you can just see her and remember that I'm always going to be here for you. Plus, she's an amazing listener; and she's adorable._

Those had been Tori's words as she gifted the kitten to her, prompting a grateful smile to brighten Jade's face before she wrapped her arms around the brunette, careful to not harm the injured kitten.

Her front-right paw was hurt, causing the kitten to slightly limp from it. It wasn't serious, but it needed attention and care; more than anything.

Jade had never had a pet before, but she was glad to have the sweet kitten. It gave her something to look forward to. It was almost as if she could heal the kitten, and herself, at the same time. She was completely dedicated to making sure Midnight Lynnette got completely back to health.

It was something she could help, something she could love without fear.

Jade picked her up and cradled Lynette in her arms, rubbing behind her ears softly before continuing her journey downstairs.

She walked towards her little brother, and told him to take care of the kitten in her absence; remembering to ask Linda to aid him if necessary.

Sam stared at her with wide blue eyes, and Jade knew her brother could tell she wasn't simply going to be gone for a little while.

After waving goodbye to Sam and Linda, she typed a fast text to her mother; telling her she would be over at Tori's house, working on a project for school. She warned her she might not be able to answer, and to not worry.

She also sent a text to Michael, informing him of her scheduled flight and where he had to meet her. If all went according to plan, she'd be in Canada by six o'clock.

It would give her enough time to see Beck before visiting hours were over.

The day was bright and sunny in Los Angeles, as usual. There wasn't a cloud in sight, even though it was the end of December. Jade had almost expected a thunderstorm to pour down as she drove towards the LAX Airport, to mirror her tormented state of mind.

She felt as if it was a joke from nature; showing her how she should feel, and taunting her with something she couldn't achieve.

Her mind would never be as clear as the blue sky.

She would never burn as bright as the warm sun.

Her heart would never feel as free as the leaves from the tall palm trees; that seemed to dance along to the melody of the soft breeze.

Jade shook her head, attempting to vanish the thoughts away and concentrate on the road. Soon enough, she was at her designated terminal. She pretended she didn't notice the worried glances the personnel kept sending her.

She could only imagine what she looked like.

A beautiful, but obviously distraught girl: dressed completely in black, with no luggage and alone.

Jade wasn't crying, but anyone who paid attention to her could easily note that she was a mess.

-.-.-.-.-

After what felt like an eternity waiting for her flight to be called, she finally got onboard and into her seat. Turning off her phone, she ignored the missed call and text message from Tori.

Jade rested her head against the seat, thankful that the spot besides her remained vacant. She wasn't sure she'd be able to handle any more curious glances or questions from strangers. In fact, the entire flight seemed mostly empty, with only a few passengers and the crew onboard.

It wasn't surprising, giving that not a lot of people were likely to travel the day after Christmas and during the Holidays.

Only crazy people did so.

Like Beck; who had flown back from Vancouver on Christmas last year, to spend the day with her in Los Angeles.

He'd shown up at her door; holding her gift in one hand, and a mistletoe on the other.

Because he knew how much it would mean to her; and he loved her enough to do so.

After she punched him and called him a sap; she had wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him inside. They spent the day together; up in her room watching old movies and drinking hot chocolate.

It had been perfect.

Her mind was about to be invaded by thought and feelings for Beck (not that they ever left), when a sweet, middle-age flight attendant stopped next to her. The stewardess, Amy, could notice the distress the young girl was in.

After so many years observing people, it was easy for her to read their behavior.

The girl in front of her was hurting, and it was over love.

By her lack of luggage, Amy had the distinct instinct that she was traveling to meet someone. An almost three hour plane trip was too much alone time for anyone to handle; specially a girl in her condition.

"Hey honey, I brought you a cup of tea so you can relax," Amy informed her, a pleasant smile on her face. Jade seemed surprised at first; her eyebrows crinkling as her eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Oh, I only drink coffee," Jade answered back, not trying to be rude but also refusing to drink the beverage.

"It's only chamomile. Trust me, it'll make you feel better," Amy prompted her.

Jade sighed, dropping her shoulders in defeat before accepting the cup presented to her. She nodded her thanks to the stewardess and proceeded to drink it, which inevitably caused her to relax.

For a moment, her mind felt clear; empty.

Jade realized she must have fallen asleep; because the next thing she knew, she was being woken up by the sound of the flight attendants informing everyone they were about to land.

She sat up on her seat and tightened her seatbelt, making sure it was secure. Jade sent Amy a thankful look when the woman made eye contact with her, a knowing smile on her face.

As soon as they landed, Jade turned on her Pear Phone to inform Michael she had arrived. Earlier, after he informed her which airport and location she had to be in, they had both agreed he'd pick her up and drive her straight to the hospital.

For once luck had been on her side, and said hospital was only a few minutes away from the airport.

Under any other circumstance, Jade would have insisted on finding her way there; but not today. She had never been to Vancouver before, and she more than likely would end up lost if she tried to navigate herself anywhere.

So she wasn't surprised when a hand tapped her shoulder once she made her way out of Customs.

Turning around, she noticed a tall guy with reddish-brown hair staring at her. His broad shoulders made him presence imposing, even though he was more on the lanky side.

"You're Jade, right?" He questioned her.

Jade nodded.

"And you're Michael," she stated, recognizing his voice from their earlier conversations.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "Come on, we should get to the hospital before Beck wakes up."

They had taken a few steps outside, when Michael realized Jade was shivering and rubbing her palms viciously against her arms. Noticing that she didn't have anything on for cover besides her blouse, he shrugged off his leather jacket and silently offered it to her.

When Jade left her home that morning, she had been much too preoccupied to remember that it wasn't 80 degrees in Canada at the moment. The streets were covered with both stacked and freshly fallen snow, and her body was reacting to the drastic change in weather; not accustomed to the cold temperature.

She had refused at first, but the scowl he had directed at her forced her to swallow her pride and accept the offer. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as the material heated her body, protecting her from the cold.

Once they reached his car, Michael immediately set it into motion. Turning on the heater and keeping the radio low, both wanting to pretend the reasons for the awkward car ride were non-existent, or at the very least, different.

Jade looked out the window, watching as the snow fell from the sky and painted the world white. Christmas decorations adorned the majority of them. The houses they passed by looked like something taken out of a magazine.

It was a beautiful sight.

"You know, he thinks of you as his entire world."

Jade snapped her head back to meet Michael's voice. His now-narrowed eyes were still focused on the road, but his jaw was stiff and his body was tensed.

"He was my world too," she whispered, wishing he would let the subject go.

"Then why didn't you go with him?" He snapped at her.

"I couldn't, and I don't have to explain myself to you," she hissed back.

While she knew there was a large probability Beck's friends would be resentful of her, she didn't want to put up with it anymore.

She was here, and she was going to help Beck; so why didn't they just leave her alone?

Did they really think that she wasn't hurting too? Couldn't they see that her feelings mattered as well?

It wasn't just Beck who had suffered, she'd been bearing her own cross for a long time.

She was tired of everyone blaming, hating, and judging her for making her decision.

It was so much easier to comment when they were simply observing, none caught in the train wreck of devastating contradictions she had faced.

None of them knew the entire story, yet they all felt the right to judge her.

"You know what? I had to watch my friend become this pod person because the girl he loved left him hanging. So forgive me for being upset."

Jade watched as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel, causing the skin to turn white due to the pressure he was applying. She closed her eyes and leaned back, lacking the will to start another fight.

"How bad was it, before this, I mean?"

Michael relaxed his grip and released an exhausted sigh. Jade couldn't help but compare his behavior with Tori's, and she knew without a doubt that Michael had tried to play the same role.

"It was bad," he admitted. "I couldn't get him to stop drinking. He kept locking himself in his room and wouldn't come out. It's like, he just became this type of zombie. His dad wasn't any help either, he's been pretty much gone since they got back."

His eyes filled with sadness and defeat; as if he had failed his life-long friend, and Jade felt an unusual urge to offer her support. She stopped herself though, because she wasn't sure she could really be a help to anyone at the moment.

Instead, she tried to focus on getting as much information on Beck as she could. She needed to know what she was going to find when she saw him again.

"He never showed any signs of moving on?" She questioned him tentatively.

"Nope," he deadpanned. "He was either angry or depressed, but it was always because of you."

"What happened last night?" She was almost afraid to ask.

Before he had a chance to answer, they were driving into the hospital's parking lot. He stopped the car after settling on a spot, then turned around to face her.

"Look, I'm not even sure of exactly what happened. Beck hasn't exactly been a fountain of information lately. You can ask him when you see him."

"Does he know I'm coming?" Jade asked quietly.

"No, he doesn't. He's been out all day, but the doctor's said he should be waking up soon."

That shocked her. Jade could have been sure that Beck had sent for her, using the final card to get her to come back.

To find out that he had actually done this with its full intent hurt her more than anything.

"Why did you call me?" She asked, her voice chocking in her throat as she tried to stop herself from crying.

She had a feeling she'd be doing that a lot, later.

"Because I tried, I really did; but I can't help him. If he's gonna have any chance at all, Beck's going to need you."

-.-.-.-.-

Jade West couldn't stop the tears from falling.

She had tried to stay strong and in control since she'd received the news, but the sight in front of her was the final straw.

Because the boy there could not be Beck Oliver.

Except, he was; and she couldn't stop the voice in her head kept repeating it was her fault.

Jade's eyes filled with sorrow as they traced his sleeping form, memorizing all the differences.

He was dressed in an off-white hospital gown, instead of his flannel shirts and leather jacket.

His naturally tan skin was pale; appearing gray and lifeless in contrast to its usual tone.

His dark hair slicked flatly against his forehead, lacking the volume she was so accustomed to seeing in it.

Dark rings formed beneath his eyes, and even in his sleep; a grimace was firmly planted on his handsome face.

All of that she could handle, she could erase.

What killed her were the thick bandages that had been firmly wrapped around his wrists.

What she couldn't erase where the scars that would forever mark his skin.

They would always be there; as well as burned into her memory.

She walked towards the empty chair next to his laying form, thankful Michael had given her the privacy she needed. He had walked her to the room, then informed her he'd be in the cafeteria while she spent some alone time with Beck.

They both knew it was only a matter of time before he woke up.

Jade slowly lifted one of her hands to grab his and flinched over the coldness of his skin.

Beck was always warm, regardless of the weather.

She had always loved when he wrapped his arms around her and the heat of his body transferred to her, making her feel safe without hesitation.

She didn't want to wake him yet, attempting to postpone their inevitable reencounter as much as possible. So she pushed the chair closer to the bed and rested her head on the unoccupied area of the mattress; clutching one of his hands between hers.

She turned her face so it would be facing him, but closed her eyes and waited.

-.-.-.-.-

Beck Oliver wasn't sure he was awake yet.

Mainly: because he wasn't supposed to wake up again.

More importantly: because he had to be dreaming for Jade to be here.

The first thing he noticed was that she looked different.

The streaks were gone from her hair, and it now hanged in natural loose curls instead of the handmade ones. She was paler than before, and her face was make-up less.

She also seemed thinner, almost disturbingly so. Her cheeks had lost their roundness and adopted an angular shape instead. She looked so captivatingly vulnerable, so beautifully broken.

Beck realized then that either his mind was playing a cruel trick on him, or she was really here.

"Jade," he spoke firmly; commanding her to either vanish from his mind or verify her existence.

Her eyes instantly snapped open, widening under his intense gaze.

"Beck," she whispered; eyes closing briefly as tears streamed down her cheeks.

After his brain registered that she was in fact there, and not simply a figment of his imagination; he felt all his emotions crash against him simultaneously.

His joy over her reappearance in his life clashed harshly against his fury over her abandonment; both emotions battling for control of his heart.

He didn't know whether to clutch her against his chest and make her promise to never leave again, or yell at her and demand she never come back unless she had explanations for her actions.

Of course, it wasn't as if he'd ever really let her go.

His mind was still processing his next action when it registered that she had sat up in her chain and was glaring at him through her tears.

"How could you do this? How could you be such an idiot?" She demanded with a broken voice, tears causing her to choke out the words in an unflattering manner.

"I don't know? Maybe the same way you couldn't fucking answer your phone," he shot back, resentment and anger laced into his words. He watched as she visibly backed down, sinking back into the chair she was sitting on.

"That's not a reason to end your life," she answered him, hating how weak she felt and sounded.

"What's not? Having to deal with my mother dying alone, while I watch my father drink himself into oblivion and my girlfriend, who claimed she loved me, ditch me like I'm nothing? Do you know how much it fucking hurts?" He spat out at her, wanting her to feel guilt and remorse over the pain she caused him.

Wanting her to feel what he did, to understand how much she had hurt him.

Jade turned away from him, burying her face in her hands as a sob escaped her chest. After taking a few deep breaths, she lifted her head and got off the chair; quickly making sitting next to him and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You can't do this. You can't just not be there anymore; I can't handle that, I can't live if you're ever really gone," Jade rambled hysterically. "I'm so sorry," she whispered repeatedly in his ear as she clutched on to him. It was as if she was afraid he might be the one to leave now, and was trying to do everything possible to keep him with her.

Beck didn't know how to react.

The whole situation felt so surreal to him. He had already given up hope for his life, and now here was Jade; giving him the only thing he had wanted the entire time.

Her.

Because regardless of whatever she did; Beck Oliver still loved Jade West, more than anything.

But he was so furious at her, so hurt. He couldn't just let that go yet.

"Please don't ever try to do that again, and I promise I'll never leave you alone," she bargained, wanting to convince him to regain his desire for life, for her. She ran her fingers through his overgrown hair, coaxing him the way she used to before; when everything had been so complicated, yet simple in comparison.

Memories of days spent doing nothing but enjoying each other's company invaded his mind; and Beck gave in (for the moment).

Because Jade was here, and she was holding him and asking for forgiveness.

He was still angry, but he could confront her over that later; for right now, all he wanted was to hold her and make sure she didn't change her mind and leave.

He cradled her closer to him, ignoring the pain that shot up his arms when his wrist made contact with her skin. The cuts were still fresh, and any small amount of pressure made them ache and feel like they were being torn apart.

"Say you won't leave me again," he demanded as he buried his face in her shoulder; holding her closer than was physically possible.

"I promise," was her instant reply.

"I missed you so much," Beck told her as his fingertips began playing with the strands of her hair.

"I know, I missed you too; every day."

"I love you," he stated, and Jade inhaled sharply because the hesitation she had expected to hear in his voice was non-existent.

He really did still love her.

Jade leaned her head back away from his, so that she could stare into his eyes before she pressed a kiss to his lips. It was passionate and raw, just like their emotions.

His dry lips were too harsh against hers, and she clawed her nails into his scalp too deeply ; but they didn't care.

The only thing that matter was that they were together again.

Once they broke apart for air, Jade pressed her cheek against his and uttered the truest words her heart had ever spoken.

"I love you too, Beck, and I always will."

-.-.-.-.-

**AN: And it is done! Yeah, not really haha**

**We still have a way to go before this story is over. Actually, now is when it gets interesting =) **

**See, I promised Beck and Jade got reunited in this chapter! Now, to get them out of Canada and back to Hollywood Arts!**

**This chapter gets dedicated to Kris, because she came up with the name for Jade's kitten, Moonlight Lynnette! (The girl is an evil mastermind!)**

**Whoever can guess where the name came from gets the next chapter dedicated to them! **

**And if you want to know what Michael's like, all you have to know is that he's inspired in Michael Seater during season 4 of Life With Derek. (What can I say, my life has been a complicated web of fangirling obsessions, and I regret nothing!)**

**So don't forget to Review dears, you're feedback makes me happy! Haha **

**And, you know, motivates me to stay up all night writing so I can update! (Seriously, it's 4:38am right now 0.0)**


	5. Chapter 5

"_**Yes, you use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like Heaven." Hurts Like Heaven- Coldplay**_

-.-.-.-.-

"_Jade, when are you coming home?"_

Her grip tightens on the defenseless PearPhone as her mother's voice resonates in her mind. Jade disconnected the call once Emma began pressing for her to return to Los Angeles immediately, threatening to travel to Canada herself and bring her back if necessary.

It wasn't an empty threat, and Jade knew that even though her mother was not aware of her exact location, it wouldn't take her long to find them if she set her mind to it.

She was a West, after all; and nothing stood a chance between them and their goals.

Jade leaned back and closed her eyes as she simultaneously slid her body down the bathroom wall and sat on the cold, tile floor. Discarding the phone beside her, she pulled her legs towards her chest and wrapped her arms around them, wishing that doing so would stabilize her mind as much as her body.

She'd been in Canada with Beck for almost two weeks, and she was pretty sure she was about to lose her mind.

He was unstable; his emotions running like a rollercoaster. One minute, he would be professing his love for her and explaining all his plans for their relationship, and the next he'd snap and his calm demeanor would transform and be filled with anger and resentment; spewing venom aimed to hurt her.

A sense of déjà vu invaded her as she was reminded of his frequent phone calls, except the blow was much more intense now that she was here in person; listening to his voice and watching his expressions instead of simply picturing them. It was as if he was torn between hating and loving her, stuck deciphering which feeling ran deeper for her.

A tiny (large) part of her was undecided on which she'd rather have at the moment.

She'd hurt him like no other, and the other side of Beck; the one that barely anyone knew and he tried so forcefully to hide (but Jade had been privy to for a long a time), wanted to return the favor.

Jade was never sure where she stood with him, but at the same time knew that it was to be expected. If their roles were reversed, she had no idea how she would have reacted. Knowing herself, she'd more than likely be worse than he was. So it was fine if he was angry now, she could excuse his behavior. (Liar)

Still, that didn't make it any easier to handle.

She was so tempted to run.

Tempted to pick up the phone and call her mother to come get her and take her away. She knew Emma would be here in a heartbeat, ready and willing to take her under her embrace and protect her from the world, from Beck.

But she couldn't do that, she refused to run again.

As hard as being with Beck was proving to be, she had to believe that the end results would be worth it. She needed to prove that Love, _their_ love, was strong enough to get them through anything. Because if Jade West ever knew one thing for certain, it was that Beck Oliver loved her (or had). He was hurting now, just as she was, but they'd be fine again together one day (at least, she hoped they would).

And she'd made him a promise.

A promise to never leave him alone; and one she was determined to follow. If something were to happen to him because she left again, Jade didn't know how she'd ever be able to forgive herself. She couldn't, and she wouldn't. As much as she wanted to run at times, a larger part of her knew that even if she did, she'd simply run back.

Love (and guilt) makes you do crazy things.

And so, the never-ending cycle continues.

So what if he was hurt and angry and so messed up at the moment that it made her past few months without him look tame?

She could get him through it; she was sure of that. Jade knew that she just needed to hold on for a little longer, let him get his feelings out. She owed him that much (and more), and she'd be damned if she allowed a few bumps in the road stop them from getting their 'happily ever after'.

Didn't anyone ever tell them that fairytales aren't real?

She decides it time to end her self-pity spiral and make her way back towards their temporary bedroom when she feels her legs begin to turn numb. She catches a glimpse of her reflection on the mirror as she stands up but turns away quickly, not wanting to deal with the evidence of her deteriorating form at the moment. Closing the door softly behind her, she re-enters the room and lies next to Beck. Jade rests her head on his shoulder and sighs in content as his arm accommodates itself around her shoulders loosely.

"You don't have to hide if you want to call her, Jade."

His voice breaks through the silence and Jade freezes for a second because it's two in the morning and she's pretty sure he was asleep when she left to make the phone call. She'd tried to be discrete, not wanting to give off the impression that she was leaving again, and not wanting to provoke his mistrust to increase. She doesn't raise her head to meet his eyes, and he makes no move to change their positions either.

For the first time, conversations aren't easy between them.

They can no longer enjoy the comfort that each other's company used to provide, even in silence.

There's too much hurt and uncertainty, both upset for different reasons. She's worried that he'll snap and do something stupid, and he's certain that one of his uncontrollable (and understandable, right?) outbursts will finally ignite her legendary temper and she'll leave again. He knows she deserves better, yet he can't bring himself to stop.

"She's worried; and she wants me back home," she provides as an explanation, deciding to leave the words hanging in the air and see if Beck made any effort to try and resolve the situation. She doesn't have to say it, but they both know that this time she'll follow his decision; even if that leads her away from home (which might be the last thing she wants).

He releases a sigh and even without looking at his face, she can picture the way his eyes close in exhaustion just as easily as she can feel his chest rise underneath her head as he takes a deep breath. "We're going back," he murmurs, and she snaps up out of her laying position to stare at him in shock.

"We're what?" She asks, and he doesn't miss the hopeful tone that enters her voice, just as much as she doesn't miss the way his grip tightens on her as he pulls her back down next to him (he can't keep her there forever).

"We're leaving as soon as we can."

She knows he doesn't really want to go back, but that he'll do it for her, and her heart swells at the reminder that beneath all the baggage they carry; the boy that she loves is still there, just waiting to be found.

Maybe they really will be OK again.

-.-.-.-.-

The next morning, they set to action.

Beck packs his indispensable belongings, along with the few Jade bought during her short stay, into two large suitcases while said girl purchases airline tickets online. He contemplates calling John to inform him of his impeding leave, but decided against it; he hasn't spoken to the man in weeks, so he's certain his departure will have no grand effect on his father.

They say goodbye to Michael, and Beck thanks him for all he's done for them. He wishes them the best of luck and a safe trip, but not before pulling Jade aside. Beck is occupied loading their suitcases into the cab they called when he corners her in the kitchen.

"I know we got off to a bad start and I'm not your favorite person, but just, take care of him, you know?" He coughs out, as unaccustomed to emotional displays as his childhood friend. He shrugs his shoulders and plays with the collar of his shirt, but his eyes are set on hers, and Jade knows he's doing all he can to stop himself from bolting from the so-called 'chick-flick moment'.

Jade nods her head as an answer, but all that seems to do is anger him. His fingers form into fist and his brow furrows as his eyes narrow at her. He's angry, but then again, so is everybody else, and she doesn't care enough to fight the world at the moment. Even though they've been staying with him for the past few days, Michael doesn't trust her. Jade can feel his heavy and accusing gaze every time she turns around. She figures there's no point in arguing her case any further, especially considering they're moments away from leaving.

"I'm serious. You still don't get it, do you?" He snaps at her, "You're the one who makes him that way. He needs you to snap out of whatever daze you're in and help him. He obviously can't and won't fix himself, so now it's up to you. If you don't do it, both of you are screwed."

His eyes are set hard on hers, full of determination to make her understand. He wants to save his friend, and Jade thinks there's a tiny chance he might care enough to want to save her as well. Yet, while she listens to his words and tries to make sense of them to come up with a suitable answer, try to reassure him she'll do all she can; a familiar and venomous memory of a different set of eyes sneaks up on her.

'_She's poison; she rots everything she touches; it's all your fault…'_

It's the same words that have been haunting her for months, Michael's accusations hitting a nerve as her eyes widen in contemplation.

In another world, a world in which things were as they should, and there weren't stubborn people set on defying life-long norms; Beck&Jade would have never existed.

Sure; they might have both gone to Hollywood Arts, and they might have even made decent friends, but they would have never been anything more.

Beck would have spent his Freshman year dating all the pretty girls he could, and when Tori Vega transferred in Sophomore year, he would have fallen head-over-heels for her. They would've been the perfect combination that everybody just _knew_ belonged together. The future movie-star and pop-star; high school sweethearts taking the world by storm. His mother would have loved to spend days shopping with the beautiful brunette, and his father would have been proud of his son's wise choices.

In that same world, she would've never dated him. Jade would've spent her time loathing the image that he presented. She would have listened to her instincts when they warned her to say 'no' to his advances, and laughed it off as a joke. Maybe she would've dated Andre Harris; who was sweet and kind and everything people thought _she_ wasn't. He could've been exactly what she needed; someone who was such an optimist to truly care and show her there was still hope left in the world.

Beck Oliver would've been content to live in his monotone ways, always numb to everything he didn't want to feel.

Jade West would've spent her time finding herself, instead of losing control of it all while trying to decipher who Beck Oliver was.

Their reality, however, was much different.

Because the instant her icy-blue eyes had met his chocolate-brown ones, she'd been gone. And when after weeks of trying, his lips had finally pressed against hers; Beck Oliver had felt a fire ignite in him that'd never been there before. When she was gone; he felt cold and lonely and so numb that he knew he had to get it back, he couldn't let it, let _her,_ go. When Jade West realized that he wanted her, she'd opened up and let him in. Delighted at the idea of somebody who _liked_ her as she was, _needed_ her to be better; for the first time, she found someone who wanted her and no one else. It would be perfect.

Or so she'd thought.

Soon, of course, reality crashed in.

Their relationship got hard, and all the things she'd sworn would never happen to her, did. It didn't help that even though he'd found what he was missing in her, he still seemed to be looking for it in other girls. She couldn't stand the idea of him finding that in somebody else, somebody easier, with less baggage, and that he'd leave her in a second. He couldn't bear the thought of her leaving, of the numbness that he'd be left with if she ever realized she could do better, she _deserved_ better. So she snapped at anyone who turned his way, and he took away anything that would make her feel too secure; they both ended up with nothing but each other.

She could never walk away, and he would never let her go.

He's right; they're both screwed.

Sometimes, she really wishes they lived in that other world.

_Could've, should've, would've._

She's shaken out of her thoughts when she hears Beck reenter the kitchen, softly wrapping an arm around her and resting his chin on her shoulder. At first, she stiffens at the contact, and she tells herself it's because her thoughts were interrupted, and not because her subconscious is rejecting him (keep telling yourself that). Gradually, she relaxes in his hold and turns around to wrap her arms around him. Beck's oblivious to their previous conversation, but Michael and her both know she's turning away from him.

"You ready to go?" He murmurs in her ear when he feels her bury her face in the crook of his neck. He raises his gaze to meet Michael's, who almost immediately turns his away, and Beck knows something definitely happened between the pair.

He doesn't ask though, because a voice in the back of his head tells warns him he doesn't want to know.

-.-.-.-.-

They leave the apartment quickly after that, and soon enough, they're both on the airplane heading back to Los Angeles.

By some grand coincidence, (or maybe because life loves messing with them), Amy, the sweet flight attendant that'd given Jade tea on her way to Vancouver, is on the same flight as they are.

She walks by their seats and instantly recognizes her. The girl who'd made an impression on her and managed to stay there despite the hundreds of others Amy constantly met. The beautiful, lonely girl; with the broken heart and lost-looking eyes.

When she'd first seen her, the older woman was sure that the girl's troubles led back to heartbreak. Now, seeing the handsome boy sleeping on the seat beside hers, she knew she'd been right. She released a sigh of contentment and relief when she noticed their postures, and was sincerely glad the couple had solved their issues. It was in the way her head rested on his shoulders, and even though he was asleep, his grip remained locked with her fingers.

A small smile grazed her lips, and she was about to walk away when Jade sensed her presence and turned around to meet her gaze. Their eyes lock, and it only takes five seconds for Amy's expressions to completely change.

Instantly, Jade noticed how the flight attendant's emotions turned from shocked to mournful. She also noticed the moment in which Amy's eyes landed on their intertwined fingers, and realized that Beck's grip on her is almost too tight and his fingers are sure to leave a bruise on her pale skin. She watches as her brown eyes turned into a mix of sorrow and pity for her, and her control snaps.

She glares at the older woman, and commands her to leave, because who is she and what gives her the right to look down at her with _pity_ and a self-righteous attitude?

Jade knows she's doing wrong by snapping at the woman, who more than likely had nothing but her best interest at heart. Still, she can't stop herself from venting, and she wonders if the swift moment of peace it grants her is the same reason Beck continuously snaps at her. She read somewhere that transference was a coping method, and wonders what exactly she's been coping with for so long.

Her conscious tell her it's her Daddy Issues, always pressing against her mind and heart. Her subconscious whispers that her main issue is currently sleeping next to her.

It doesn't matter. They're an hour away from home. An hour away from her family, and their friends and everything they've known. An hour away from reality and consequences. An hour that seems both too long, and too short.

Anxiety bubbles up inside of her, and Jade's trying to remember every possible way she can jump out the plane before it lands, when Beck wakes up.

His eyelids are heavy with sleep and his eyes are unfocused. He blinks them a few times before concentrating them on her, his grip loosens on her hand and he uses his thumb to trace smooth circles over the sensitive skin. His gaze lowers and lands on the angry red marks that litter her hand, so he raises it towards his lips and peppers soft kisses over them as a silent apology.

His gesture is sweet and sincere and so genuinely _Beck_ that her heart swells at it. She raises her free hand to cup his face and presses her lips against his. He returns her affection instantly, and while they kiss, they both forget everything that's wrong. They're not Beck and Jade; full of troubles and mistakes and guilt. They're back to Beck two teenagers who love each other more than anything.

And that makes everything else worth it.

(Or so they want to believe.)

-.-.-.-.-

**AN: So, long time no update.**

**Hey everyone, guess who's back? It's finally here! So, yeah. Tell me what you guys think! I had this whole thing planned out for an AN but I seem to have blanked out. I blame the fact that it's 5am and I haven't slept. **

**Thank You guys so much for all the lovely reviews! I'm glad you guys like the fic! Also, I posted a new one-shot a while ago called Fools in Love. If you haven't read it or reviewed it, it'd be pretty awesome if you did =)**

**Hey! Don't forget to check out the amazing fics by my Soul Sister Kris, aka imlaughingnow! Review her! Honestly, her stories are amazing in so many different levels 0.0**

**And how about we make a deal? If you guys get me to a 100 reviews, I'll post an update for this by Saturday night! Also, I'll be posting updates throughout the week for all my open fics, but only if you guys keep reviewing! It's kind of a bitch to spend so much time dedicated to this and then get like, no reviews in return -.- **

**My rant is over.**

**Sorry, had to get it off my chest. **

**Anyways, much love,**

**-Lele **


	6. Chapter 6

"_**He ain't feelin' anything; my love, my hurt, or the sting of this rain. I'm livin' in a hurricane. All he can say is, 'Man ain't it such a nice day?' Yeah, Yeah.", **__Dead Flowers__** – Miranda Lambert**_

-.-.-.-.-

When their plane arrived, Emma West was already waiting for them outside the Customs exit; hands firmly planted on her slim waist and a scowl prominently displayed on her face, hiding away the elegant features she possessed. Beside her stood Sam; his wide, blue eyes filling with joy at the sight of his sister and her boyfriend, finally back after what felt like an eternity from his young perspective. Emma's eyes narrowed the closer the young couple got, until they stood in front of her, hands clasped tightly together and impatiently waiting for their verdict.

She'd sighed in a silent admission of defeat and acceptance, before wrapping her arms around her prodigal daughter's frame and welcoming her back home. Jade wholeheartedly returned the embrace, and Beck couldn't help but notice the obvious way in which his girlfriend clung onto her mother, something he hadn't been privy to ever before.

It's selfish and he knows it, but he can't stop the disbelief and the anger that runs through him towards Emma West. _He_ was the only one who was there for Jade for all those years when her parents had basically emotionally abandoned her. _He_ was the one who helped her deal with her issues and _listened_ to her when she broke down. _What_ could her mother have _possibly_ done that had warranted such quick and total forgiveness from a girl who was legendary for her ability to hold grudges?

Where was Emma West when Jade had needed her before?

_She has her mother now, and you have no one. _

A voice that sounds suspiciously like John Oliver runs through his thoughts and Beck's surprised at how _true_ the words feel. He knows he shouldn't begrudge his girlfriend's happiness, but the inevitable truth is that now he has no one except her. Deep down, he knows that's the real problem. She now has this group of support around her, and he's no longer the center of her world. She can walk away again, leaving him completely alone. She doesn't need him anymore.

Instantly, Beck Oliver discovers the one thing in the world that causes him true terror.

He's momentarily shocked when he feels Emma's arms wrap around his shoulders, his body currently unaccustomed to any type of maternal comfort and attention. A soft sigh escapes his lips and he can't fight off the urge to return the embrace, the ghost of his mother's memory making it all the more meaningful. "I'm glad you're back home, honey," she whispers into his ear and Beck closes his eyes as the guilt of his previous thoughts hit home.

Still, guilty as he may feel, it doesn't make them any less true.

-.-.-.-.-

In the end, it takes a teacher, guidance counselor, and a very upset Emma West who threatens to call her lawyer for Helen to allow Beck's reenrollment into Hollywood Arts.

You know, and an incredible amount of sucking up.

Sikowitz has been more than willing to vouch for Beck, although neither he nor Jade has missed the scrutinizing gaze that the coconut-loving teacher had directed at two of his favorite students.

Lane had not been so easy.

He was a guidance counselor, and as such, he believed it was his duty to give his honest judgment and opinion. Speaking honestly, he wasn't sure Beck and Jade being back together at all times would be beneficial to either student. If the gauzes around Beck's wrist were any indication of his current state, he was just as, if not even more, unbalanced as his girlfriend has been for the past few months. As unbiased as he's aware he's obligated to be, Lane can't help but want to side with raven-haired girl. After years of casually observing them, it was horrible for him to watch what he always knew would be an inevitable break in the walls she'd built around herself.

Plus, there's something in Beck's eyes that has all the professional warning bells ingrained into his subconscious blaring at a level that nearly physically hurts him.

It took Jade's insistently pleading eyes and both their vows to meet with him twice a week, separately, for him to agree to help convince their newly appointed principle that making an exception for them was necessary.

So here they were...

… And everybody's staring at them.

It's the first thing Beck Oliver notices as he makes his way inside the bright halls of Hollywood Arts with his girlfriend in tow. He can hear the whispers and the hushed tones the student body uses to speak of them as he makes his way towards his old locker, making sure to keep his hold on Jade's hand at all times. It feels like their gazes are burning into his back with every step he takes, and, not for the first time, he wonders what the Hell he's doing back in this school.

From the corner of her eye, Jade catches the way Beck self-consciously pulls at the sleeves of his leather jacket, making sure to cover the bandages around his wrists as much as possible from the prying eyes of the student population. They reach his locker and Jade turns to scowl at the curious gazes still on them until they get the message and continue on with their days. Besides her, Beck rolls his eyes at their antics.

"Don't worry about them. They'll get bored eventually and leave us alone," he says, more for her benefit than an actual belief in his words.

She shrugs, and in that moment Tori Vega makes her way towards them, stopping in front of them and nervously shuffling from one foot to the other. She's not sure how she should behave around either one of them, nor if her friendship with Jade continues in the same condition it was before the raven-haired girl left for Canada. Deciding to take the bull by the horns, the pretty brunette all but threw herself at the pair and wrapped her arms around them. To her surprise, Jade is the only one who truly reciprocates the embrace, while Beck visually tenses and settles for awkwardly patting her in the back.

"Hey Guys!" Tori greets them, forcing herself not to be put-off by their uncharacteristic behavior. "I've missed you both so much! I'm so glad you're both back again," she gushes, a bright smile illuminating her face and highlighting her cheekbones.

"Gosh, Vega, you make it sound like we were gone for years," Jade scoffs, but there's warmth in her voice and the usual snarky tone is completely absent. A small smile forms on her lips, the first real one Beck's seen in a while, and he wonders just when exactly that little twist happened in what had previously been a (admittedly one-sided) frienemy relationship.

"Well, look at that. The Wicked Witch of The West actually went and got Prince Charming back."

"Rex!" Robbie shrieks out, feigned indignation and surprise projected on his face. Both the teens referred to turn to their friend, unpleased scowls firmly in place. Jade's momentarily taken aback, this being the first time Robbie's so much as directed a word to her in the past few months (you know, except to blame her for Beck leaving) but she's interrupted before she can deliver a proper response.

"Shut the puppet or I will," Beck warns, and the darkness in his warning has Robbie's mouth dropping open in shock.

In the past, the handsome teen has never been one to care much for the opinions or commentary his friends and peers made regarding his relationship. A typical and expected eye-roll or glare was about as much objection as Beck Oliver was inclined to give, usually determined to take the high road. Even in his worst moods, Beck had never been one to deny a helpful ear or piece of advice to anyone, and he most definitely was never threatening or dark. This person in front of him, well, Robbie had no doubt that another slip up or snotty comment would have him meeting his fist.

It's in that moment that Robbie Shapiro realizes that although Beck Oliver is back, his best friend is not.

"Sorry, man," he apologizes, noticing the way Beck's glare softens but doesn't completely disappear. "It's good to have you back," he adds, hoping to change the subject to a more neutral matter.

Beck nods, turning his attention back to his locker to grab the history book he needs for his next class. Besides him, Jade stands, looking more uncomfortable that he's ever seen her before. Robbie doesn't judge her for it though, knowing he hasn't been an exemplary friend to her in the past few months. If he was in her shoes, he's not sure he'd like being around himself much either. Tori seems to figure out as much too, because the next thing he knows she's grabbing for his arm, pulling him away from the couple while going on about something he just _has_ to see before class.

They're all grateful for her intermission, and the glasses-wearing boy is pretty sure he hears Jade murmur something about 'small miracles'.

They're almost around the corner of the hall when Tori turns around for a final glance at her friends. Jade is leaning against a locker and Beck's looking at his girlfriend. Tori can't see his face, but she can see Jade's, and it's evident that she's smiling at the boy in front of her. Her hand reaches up to cup his face and Beck catches her hand, pressing a kiss to her fingertips before they both make their way to class.

Tori thinks maybe they should be thankful for those little moments.

Small miracles indeed.

She just really wishes she could push away the bad feeling that growing in the pit of her stomach.

-.-.-.-.-

**AN: Hey Guys! **

**After so many months, I'm finally back with an update for this! Thanks to all of you for the patience and for your lovely reviews! I promise I'll update this again soon if you guys are still interested in it.**

**I know there's still a lot I have to answer, but that's going to come out in the following chapters. Anyways, tell me what you think! I love hearing all your opinions.**

**Don't forget to review! Next chapter at around 120.**

**-Lele**


End file.
